It has been a week 1/2 since my eye surgery and things are healing pretty well. I didn't quite realize how painful it would be. It kept me down for several days. I guess that is expected, I mean they did put me out for it. I guess the doctor didn't tell me that is was going to take a few days to get back on my feet. After everything I've been through though, aggh, this was nothing. lol Really though; right now, I have double vision still, but it is now on the other side. Everything has two of them, just flip-flopped from where it used to be. I talked to a friend who had this surgery when he was a baby and he said that at first they would seem over-corrected, then straighten up. I am hoping that is correct, bc that is how mine are. I go back Thursday for a check-up.
Jacob is getting bothered with me bc I don't do enough therapy; I know I need to do more, but I am just at a point to where I do not have the desire to do more. I did it for a year- hardcore and I just want a break. I know I shouldn't, but I don't know how to motivate myself. Maybe I can get there. Hopefully.

So, I went to the eye doctor a couple of weeks ago; he looked at my eyes and said there was no way he could give me glasses to correct the double vision. I wanted glasses. But, since they can’t do that, I am having eye surgery on Sept. 17th. I didn’t want to have another surgery, but if it’s the only way, then I guess its okay. He said it is no big deal and it seems like they do this all the time. If it will correct the double vision and make me be able to drive again, then I’m all for it! =) Also, I am waiting on my new medication to help my hand quit hurting all the time. The medication is one that will (hopefully) help the nerve pain to go away, instead of just taking Tylenol that only helps pain. I hope it helps! I am saying my prayers!

Ok, so I am pretty bummed out right now and have been for a couple of weeks.. It bothers me that I still can't drive. Really bothers me. I go to the PT next week, so hopefully he will give me full reign to drive or whatever. I won't really feel comfortable until I get glasses, but I don't want the PT to say to come back to him after I go to the eye doctor, so hopefully he will just say that I can. He was the one who said I couldn't in the first place anyway(I think).

I had some problems fighting back sadness and all that stuff the other times this year and got through it fine, but I have been feeling like that again. It sucks, plain and simple. There's no better way to say it. I'm going to get over it, it'll just take time. I have started writing alot. That helps, actually that makes me even more sad, but it feels good to get it out. So, I guess in a way, it is helping. I thought all this would kind of feel like it was over after June, but I guess you really can't put a time on it. I'll make it through, just have to be strong and wait it out! I'm tougher than this is! :-)

So far all is going well! I am very happy to say that. It has been almost one month since the last treatment and I still feel pretty good. I go to the Physical Therapist on Aug. 18th in OKC and the eye doctor Aug. 25th in OKC. I am very optimistic that the eye doctor will have good news for me. I am ready to be able to see again! I have a feeling he will say I don't need surgery to correct anything but it is a possibility. Oh well, we'll cross that bridge when it gets here. What's one more surgery?? Nothing after what I've been through!! ;-) We will see what they have to say. The PT just wants an update, so we will be there for probably a total of 10 minutes. After that it will be on to the hospital to say Hi to my old PT's and OT's and everyone else.

~NOTHING BUT HAPPINESS!!~

Well, things are going well so far! I'm very happy about that. The doctor (Ramzi) said I could have a loss of motor skills up to several months after radiation, so we are just crossing our fingers that it doesn't occur. I was worried about coming home, then having to go back to the hospital bc of motor skills or something, but I am soo thankful that nothing has happened. I saw the PT today, and she even said I can quit seeing her! There is enough there that I can do at home to keep up and stop paying them to use their equipment. If I start seeing a degression I will start going back though. I hope this is the end of a LONG chapter in my book; I think I am feeling better just knowing that we have come to an end with all of the procedures. I say end, I THINK end. There could be more radiation, but we won't know that for six months. One thing that I am happy to say is I am going to the eye doctor(I can't spell what kind of doctor) in late August to see what we can do about my vision. For the first time in a LONG time, I feel happy; nothing but happiness. That is a good feeling. Maybe we can look at me starting to drive again(after the eye doc, of course) and... I just want to yell! Such a feeling of relief, I am finally through with ALL of this. This year has been more than most could ever imagine, and most people are off having fun the first year of marriage, but Jacob and I spent our first anniversary a little different than most( in a hospital), at least we will never forget it! Hopefully I get to start a new chapter in My book of Life! =)

I go in for radiation Friday, and I feel very scared for some reason. I know it isn't that of a deal, but I guess with the things that went wrong in January I am hesitant to do anything thus time. Honestly, I don't want to do it; I don't want to do anything else, but I have to. I have to get this over with. I keep telling myself that...I have to; hopefully I will be okay. I have to be okay. I have to be okay. If you could hear my voice right now, you would know how nervous I am. I know I'm going to be fine... but what if I’m not. I can’t go through not being able to walk again, I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that. I’m sure no one will read this before I have the Gamma Knife, but I’m still going to ask you to pray for me. Thanks! Love you guys!!

My radio-surgery or radiation or whatever you want to call it is coming up pretty quickly. I am not near as nervous about this as I was about the procedure in January, thank goodness. I only hope I will not have any of the set-backs that I did last time.. The doctors said I wasn't likely to have any problems that I did last time, and they say that again, hopefully their right. People say they feel that I would have had the swelling and loss of motor skills no matter where I went for the procedure, but I can't help but feel like I am setting myself up for it again by going to the same place. Don't get me wrong, I think Dr. Welch is great and I don't think him doing the procedure did that to me, but I can't help but ask myself that... I guess I just need someone to blame. He isn't to blame though, he has been a wonderful doctor.
I think that Jacob and I are going on a little trip in a couple of weeks. We are not sure where; either Memphis and Nashville or St. Louis. I pick the first one, I think it would be fun bc we are goinh to Graceland and the Grand Ole Opry... that would be sooo much fun. I am a HUGEcountry music person, so that would be aewsome... and there's no telling who we would get to see there.Oh well, either trip would be fun, I just need to get away and clear my head before I go in for ANOTHER session. At least this is hopefully the last one.
It is strange to say that... the last one. This has been on my mind since Jult 19th last year, but now it is finally coming to an end. I have gone through so much, more than I hope anyone has to go through, and now it's over; just OVER. Kindof like, "Where do I go now?" I am ready to go out of the country.. when I get completely better, we are gonna go on a cruise. We could do that now(i think) but we don't feel comfortable doing that, the boat doesn't exactly have a place to land a helicoptor if something happens! We will just wait awhile for that one. :-)

back to normal... kind of

I am trying to get back to normal, well as normal as possible. Today I did laundry for the first time since January. I know, it isn't much fun, but when you are looking for something normal... it's as normal as it gets! I'm happy to say that I CAN finally do it. Our washer and dryer are outside so I have to go down a couple of steps to get outside to them, but other than that it isn't too bad.
Jacob finally has gotten to where he will leave me by myself and he wasn't happy with me going outside without him here, but I told him he had to deal with it b/c I was going to do it :) Off the subject.. I like this song...Sideways by Dierks Bentley.
Okay, Oh I have been doing Jenny Craig(with no luck at ALL) but as long as I'm not gaining more weight I will be happy. The 40ish lbs I put on are now hopefully coming off! This week I lost for the 1st time! yay!! I am off of my anti-seizure meds and hopefully my body is getting back to normal. When I was taking them I was always tired and I wasn't myself, I didn't even feel like me; but now (for the last few weeks) I am completely different, I want to do stuff and I don't take naps as often. I only take them every couple of days instead of everyday like I used to.

Well, I know it's been a while since I wrote last and there probably is not anyone still reading this, but I am going to use it for my therapy anyway. I am getting better and better; STILL going to therapy 3 days a week and I even wrote part of this using both of my hands on the keyboard!(big accomplishment)

We think the Radiation will be June 26th so keep the date in your memory. Hopefully there will be nothing that will happen, but of course, there is always a chance; we are just praying that there is no more weakness. I think I have had enough weakness for a life-time!

Normal, where are you!!

Hello Everyone,
Nothing new is really happening. Things went well with my last doctors appointment. He said that therapy is working and that I should keep going 3 days a week. I get tired of therapy, but I know I’ve just got to go and I will get better. I have not been seeing the improvements that I wish I had, but the improvements are just coming more slowly this time. Last time I recovered a little faster and I wish it would be the same this time. People tell me that I am getting better and to just hang in there, but sometimes I just want them to say, “it’s okay for it to not seem fair.” I just want things back to normal again.

Progess Report!

Hi everyone,
Just to keep you updated, I am still going to therapy and I probably will for a while. I can see improvements so I guess as long as I see them, I will continue to go. This may not sound like much to most of you, but Tuesday I cut a whole steak by myself. I was very proud of myself.

Please, keep praying for me.

We just found out our appointment with the radiosurgeon to discuss the radiation surgery is March 16th. I everything goes quickly from here on out.

Home Sweet Home

Hey everyone.
I have been home for about a week and I have started my therapy. I have been twice so far and it wears me out. Each visit is about an hour and a half. I am so happy to be home though. I am getting stronger everyday, and hopefully I will get back were I was pretty soon. It is a struggle, but I am stubborn enough(hopefully) to do it. I kind of get a little mad sometimes, but I just think that it could be alot worse and I'm lucky that it's not worse. I am working hard, so I have faith that it won't take long. I appreciate everyone for praying for me.

Going Home on my 20th day!!!!

Well, I am going home tomorrow.
I have been in the hospital since Jan 15th, and it has definitely felt like it. I wanted to go home for a long time but I wanted to make sure I was ready. I am going to do therapy in Durant this time. I need a little more intensive therapy than I think I can get elsewhere, but I still think we are going to Tishomingo a few days a week and maybe it’ll speed things up. I just hope I can get things back faster this time.

Back in Integris in OKC

Hello everyone. I am back at Jim Thorpe in Oklahoma City. It is nice to be somewhere I know and people know me. I am getting stronger everyday. I have been working on my left arm and hand more than my leg. I seem to be progressing faster this time. I have a good attitude and outlook. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.

Zale Lipshy in Dallas

Well everyone we are in Dallas at Zale Lipshy Hospital. Kimberly had her angiogram on Thursday the 15th, during the angiogram the doctors decided to proceed with embolization. It went very good. It took about 6 hours to complete everything. A couple of hours in recovery Kimberly could move her left arm and leg but they were weaker than before surgery. Kimberly was moved to ICU. After being in ICU for a few hours her side affects from surgery started getting worst. She lost the complete use of her left arm and part of her leg. She also lost all of the fine motor skills on her left side. The doctors decided to have an emergency cat scan to see if they put the glue in the wrong vein. After the cat scan they decided it must be the area around the avm swelling. But the doctors think she might need 3 weeks of rehab here at the hospital, but she does not think she will be there that long. Hopefully later today she will be moving to a regular room. We will continue to update the blog during and after the hospital stay.

I appreciate everyone praying for me.
I went to my doctor's appmt in Tulsa this afternoon with the eye doctor. She was very nice and things went well; I don't really know what she thought, but I hope it all is good. I guess we will find out in a few weeks. At least this appmt took my mind off the OTHER thing coming up next week. I am still worried and nervous about the procedure coming up, but I just keep telling myself that things will be fine because I know they will.
By the way, Bonnie Ervin (my great-aunt) had a stroke this morning and I would like it if you could pray for her. She is doing good, but of course is still weak.